When You Really Need a Day Like Labor Day

Labor Day was created to honor American workers in 1882, and while some of us see it as the end of summer, others see it as a welcome break from a sometimes harrowing work year. If you’re lucky enough not to know what I mean, then keep reading:

“I worked for a small company with doors that locked automatically, and the restrooms were outside of the office. One day at around 4:45, I went to the restroom and forgot my keys. I didn’t realize everyone else had already left for the day. I didn’t have any phone numbers because, of course, my cell phone was locked inside. I had to wait in the hall until 6:30 for the janitorial staff to show up and let me in.”

“Our company moved into a ground floor office that had been vacant for quite sometime. We learned two things that year — roly polies (also known as pill bugs) are migratory, and nothing — and I mean nothing — will change their path. Despite the exterminator’s best efforts we had a carpet of roly polies for a month because our office was in their migration path.”

” While working on my predecessor’s script I found this comment hidden in a badly-nested series of “if” statements:
//what am I doing? I used to think that I could change the world
//through programming, yet every day I waste my soul in this
//office. If you’re reading this this is my silent cry for help.
//Also, the function below returns true is the current request
//is a POST variable.”

“I walked into my office building’s bathroom one afternoon and found a completely naked woman bathing herself at the sink. She stopped to ask me if there were any showers in the building.”

“I had a co-worker train himself to sleep sitting straight up with his hands on his keyboard while wearing headphones. He was busted when his supervisor tapped him on the shoulder, and he fell over.”

“My cat ate through my work laptop power supply cord. After I had to explain to the IT department what happened, they meowed at me when I stopped by to pick up the replacement.”

“In 1999 my company’s IT department did a great job making all of our clients’ software y2k compatible. We found out on January 2, 2000 that they forgot to do the same to ours.”

” When my co-worker’s laptop battery caught on fire at work, the guy next to her picked it up and threw it down the steps of the fire escape, which meant no one could go down the fire escape when the alarm went off. ”

” Our database has had two fields with “person” spelled “persion” for the last 10 years, which makes running sql queries interesting. ”

“I remember struggling through a really rough quarter with my computer science classes. I was riding up an elevator on the way to class with a couple of guys I’d never seen before. They get off at their floor and one of them turns around, points right at me and says, “Everything you will learn here is bullsh*t and won’t help at all when you get out in the real world.” Elevator door closes. ”

“I worked at a vet hospital with a “Love for Sale” sign in the window. The clinic was staffed only with women.”

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